A Tribute To Nick Ciampi
Me and Nick Ciampi, the Otisville Sluggers opening for the Holmes Brothers.
Nick Ciampi and I performed as "The Otisville Sluggers" in Northern California from 2000-2005. The best tribute that I can pay to my dear friend, Uncle Nicky is to say that he is an outstanding man, a great teacher, a great friend, and a better songwriter and performer. One of our greatest prnaks was our contract rider for our performances as the opening act for the Holmes Brothers in 2004.
This document fell into the hands of a local morning radio show and it was read on the air. I was working in an orchard at the time and was checking the olive crop when I was called on my cell phone and asked to comment on the rider. I had forgotten all about it; Nick and I did it as a joke.
Here is the original text
Contract Rider for The Otisville Sluggers
1. Please print artist name as follows: The Otisville Sluggers. Artist will not be responsible for use of any name other than the above mentioned.
2. Presentor agrees to furnish 1 dressing room to accommodate at least 12 persons furnished with reading light & 1 fainting couch, preferably deep red in color and upholstered in velvet or velvet-like material. Presentor will also supply seating for a minimum of 8 persons and 1 Queen sized bed with feather top, Egyptian cotton sheets in Ecru & sateen comforter. Color of comforter is up to presentor’s discretion but MAY NOT be orange or mustard in color. 1 wall calendar must hang on the wall (may not contain photographs of small animals or floral arrangements), area must not be carpeted. One roll of plastic sheeting and two bottles of Johnson’s Baby Oil must also be provided.
3. Presentor agrees to provide 14 marijuana cigarettes of Humboldt County origin. Cigarettes must be Dutch cross cut & hand rolled by virgins with a SAT score of more than 1400. This stipulation will be null & void for performance dates in Oroville, where a substitute may be made for any female under the age of 35 who has completed 11th grade.
4. Presentor will provide one case of Evian bottled water at a temperature of 72 degrees (Fahrenheit) with the lids screwed half way off, 2 bottles of Johnny Walker Red Label, 3 six-packs of Bud Light and one container of pre-sweetened Kool-Aid Brand beverage in either Cherry Hot or Sublime Lime. Food for The Otisville Sluggers will contain one Taco Bell Burrito Supreme without beans, extra sour cream, 2 Wendy’s Double Bacon Cheese Burger Combo Meals (supersized) with Diet Coke and one bottle of Heinz catsup. Band prefers that no vegetarian lasagna be served, and that presentor also provide several packets of Peaches & Cream flavored instant oatmeal as well as a selection of fruits not containing bananas.
5. Presentor will provide 4 packages of fresh, clean Hanes boxer shorts, sized Large.
6. No one, outside of artist is to be admitted to dressing room unless they are wearing pasties and Birkenstock sandals.
7. Please make payment in the following manner: Cash, Food Stamps or Certified check made payable to The Otisville Sluggers Band. During the months of September and November, payment may also be made in five pound blocks of Processed American Cheese.
8. All special requests for songs not seen on artist's current song list must be cleared by Brian Kenny. In the event that artist agrees to perform the special request, presentor must provide a cassette tape and sheet music no later than 45 days from date of the engagement.
_________________________________________PRESENTOR'S SIGNATURE
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posted by Brian J. Kenny @ 10:13 PM
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